Friday, May 14, 2010

will write for time

I have four weeks left in the semester and I think of this as a countdown not to summer vacation, but to writing time. I am still determined to have a book length collection of short stories (all revised, some publishable) by the end of July. At that point I think I may turn my attention to submission, putting my work out there for rejection rejection rejection acceptance.

I continue to write in sad, sorry little spurts. The majority of my writing either journaling, essay writing, or creating short assignment examples for my students. Fiction is simmering. Once in awhile I lift the lid and give it a stir, but I'm aching for day in the kitchen.

Perhaps I am back to one of my old habits of saying no to writing time if it's short. Truth is, I can write in bits and be happy to fill a page with my own handwriting. But for fiction, I do need a chunk of time. I cannot jot a conversation between two characters in the twenty minutes I have before dinner or after my daughter's bath. For fiction, to hear and see my characters and get a feel for what their situation is, I need time to immerse. Stare into the middle distance. Cross out a line on my page and then rewrite it. Cross it out again. Cry when I get to a sad part. Say a piece out loud to hear how it sounds. Reread. Add margin notes. All of that. The writing time I have is choppy and not what I need to write fiction.

I hope for better news in four weeks. Then I will have to jump into a disciplined schedule. I will have to beg my characters to cooperate with me so that I can manage to write this book.